The Greatest Love Story Ever Told by Nick Offerman & Megan Mullally

Author:Nick Offerman & Megan Mullally
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, azw3
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2018-10-01T16:00:00+00:00

One perhaps underappreciated key to any healthy and successful household is a properly apportioned, full set of practical skills. Sometimes domestic partners will have these talents in equal shares, and in other instances the lion’s share will have been awarded to one of the spouses in extreme disproportion. So long as the combined attributes balance out to one whole well-oiled machine of a living space, and both participants are satisfied with their fair share/lack of competence and the accompanying responsibility, then a state of relative bliss can be maintained indefinitely, or so says me.

Let’s examine my parents, for example, despite the discomfort this unsolicited attention might cause them as modest Midwesterners. I have known these people for nigh on fifty years at the time of this writing, and in that time I have seen them nimbly juggle four children, five grandchildren, three consecutive houses with sizable yards, a couple of dogs, innumerable cats, and two respective professional careers, all in pretty impressively good cheer. For part of that time they fulfilled more traditional roles, what with my dad bringing home the bacon while Mom reared us cubs up to an age where we could operate a zipper (sixteen years old, in my case), whereupon she went to work as well.

With some ebb and flow through the years, my parents have split up most of the chores pretty fairly. They are both very competent bakers and cooks, providing us with agreeable provender with an astonishingly regular consistency when compared to (at least my own) more modern eating habits, which involve a lot of eating out and ordering in. Mom is generally in charge of the oven, and Dad masters the charcoal grill, but the cooking is frequently shared out between them, even within the same meal. I am hard-pressed to think of too many jobs around their home that aren’t shared to some degree. Mom reigns over the décor, the laundry, the sewing, mending, and the interior cleaning, but Dad is a good helper. Dad sees to the garden and the yard, and tends to any task requiring a tool greater than a screwdriver, but Mom is quick to help rake the leaves. However, there are always interesting deviations from tradition, probably in any couple, and my folks are no exception. Mom, a small, gentle, downright elfin lady, was generally in charge of corporal punishment when we were kids, while Dad baked bread every Sunday and taught us to shoot free throws. You just never know, when human nature is involved. Their equanimity, to my way of thinking, has to have played an imperative role in the success of their child-rearing (four for four!) and accomplishments in each of their places of employ—Dad’s a retired schoolteacher and Mom a retired labor-and-delivery nurse, both lauded for long careers of exemplary service.

In our house, things are quite a bit different from the Offerman vibe I was accustomed to, due to our freakish lifestyles. Megan and I both have very fortunate careers as performers

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